1 00:00:21,225 --> 00:00:23,479 Welcome to the News this evening! We begin the set 2 00:00:23,579 --> 00:00:26,135 with critical lyrical missiles prepped to transmit direct, 3 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,820 through the crown chakra of the world - the Internet 4 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,743 the only free frequency for sound lulz and sharper intellect. 5 00:00:31,843 --> 00:00:34,207 No headlines on this show exposing paedophiles or hoodlums 6 00:00:34,307 --> 00:00:37,084 but corporate crime f***ing our kids' future in the open. 7 00:00:37,184 --> 00:00:39,603 And yes, we will be covering the biggest story to happen: 8 00:00:39,703 --> 00:00:42,205 how we are failing, as a species, to live on this planet. 9 00:00:42,305 --> 00:00:45,018 As our fate looms closer, I'll be your host on the roster 10 00:00:45,118 --> 00:00:47,776 welcome to Juice Rap News, with me Robert Foster; 11 00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:50,258 a report on our planet, our memes and sanity 12 00:00:50,358 --> 00:00:53,145 where we ask, what on Earth is going on with humanity? 13 00:00:53,245 --> 00:00:55,830 Our correspondents have been deployed globally, ready for action 14 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:58,495 embedded deep in our collective consciousness in its fractures. 15 00:00:58,595 --> 00:01:01,078 First up, representing the militarist faction, 16 00:01:01,178 --> 00:01:03,560 a regular guest direct from the Pentagon, General Baxter. 17 00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:06,419 - That's right, General Baxter, reporting... for duty 18 00:01:06,519 --> 00:01:09,012 - Tell us what's happening; any new wars or news of peace? 19 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:12,119 - Excuse me for bragging, Bob, but on topics of fear'n'policy, 20 00:01:12,219 --> 00:01:14,491 the perfect choice of expert voice is me, obviously. 21 00:01:14,591 --> 00:01:17,561 I'm overjoyed to report that we've made Peace, with War. 22 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,832 It's been normalised, recognised as a core 23 00:01:19,932 --> 00:01:21,524 of daily reality - War is Peace? 24 00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:24,861 - A truly exemplary way to commence this New American Century! 25 00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:27,086 And to cement the empire this year we're bringing in 26 00:01:27,186 --> 00:01:30,836 a new treaty for peace 'n prosperity in the Pacific Rim: the TPP. 27 00:01:30,936 --> 00:01:33,208 - The Trans-Pacific Partnership, but do the people agree? 28 00:01:33,308 --> 00:01:35,607 - We'll Fast-Track it through Congress while they're deeply asleep. 29 00:01:35,707 --> 00:01:38,439 - Very kind indeed; but now let us search much deeper 30 00:01:38,539 --> 00:01:42,217 with our resident esoteric guruji from the alternative media: Terence Moonseed. 31 00:01:42,317 --> 00:01:46,446 - Truth seekers! Follow the rabbit down the hole; I supply whole packets of red tablets. 32 00:01:46,546 --> 00:01:48,919 Wake up, Neo! This treaty is but a teeny facet 33 00:01:49,019 --> 00:01:51,603 in a massive, drastic oceanic conspiracy to turn the Pacifist 34 00:01:51,703 --> 00:01:54,536 Pacific Ocean into the ancient battle ground of Atlantis. 35 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,531 - How? - First: they cause a giant gyre of plastic; 36 00:01:56,631 --> 00:01:59,675 then a tsunami to smash the Yakuza Fukushima reactors 37 00:01:59,775 --> 00:02:02,194 leaking radioactive wasabi to poison all of tha sushi batches; 38 00:02:02,294 --> 00:02:04,887 then a new Holy Wood movie programs the stupid masses 39 00:02:04,998 --> 00:02:07,599 for the signing into law of these genocidal ruthless tactics! 40 00:02:07,699 --> 00:02:10,422 - He's totally bat-shit. - It's true, you globalist fascist! 41 00:02:10,522 --> 00:02:13,170 If the treaty's legit, why can't we know the facts and pacts in it? 42 00:02:13,270 --> 00:02:15,744 - It is strange that it's being negotiated and handled 43 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,199 behind closed doors away from reporters and cameras. 44 00:02:18,299 --> 00:02:20,883 - But Bob! We learned from the failure of that ACTA 45 00:02:20,983 --> 00:02:22,887 that the people are just too damn attached to 46 00:02:22,987 --> 00:02:26,326 the internet, their rights, privacy, sovereignty and that crap. 47 00:02:26,426 --> 00:02:29,295 meaning that we have to treaty in secrecy, and that's that. 48 00:02:29,442 --> 00:02:31,658 - Speaking of your secrets, have you found Edward Snowden? 49 00:02:31,758 --> 00:02:35,069 - The traitor?! He defected with our data and went and sold them to the Russians! 50 00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:39,895 - The Russians? Right, that's our chance to cross to Moscow, with correspondent Ivan Sakamanev. 51 00:02:39,995 --> 00:02:42,202 - Your thoughts? - Ivan Sakamanev... 52 00:02:42,302 --> 00:02:44,923 In Russia where is Sochi good time for snow sport. 53 00:02:45,023 --> 00:02:47,856 - So, Snowden? - Benevolent Russian State protect 54 00:02:47,956 --> 00:02:50,329 political dissident from regime of USSA 55 00:02:50,429 --> 00:02:52,986 - You damn Commun... er Capitalist! Hand back our spy 56 00:02:53,086 --> 00:02:55,587 - In space-race news: NASA now need our rockets to fly. 57 00:02:55,687 --> 00:02:58,915 And in race to rape planet: Russia get more resource 58 00:02:59,015 --> 00:03:01,223 and not even need... what... two illegal wars? 59 00:03:01,323 --> 00:03:03,925 - There have been protests against drilling the Arctic zone... 60 00:03:04,025 --> 00:03:06,545 - Protests? You mean lost Greenpeace tourists we help get home? 61 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:09,276 Also, Pussy Riot lost in Siberia, could've died 62 00:03:09,376 --> 00:03:12,429 but Putin rescue them... now they change name: Pussy Quiet 63 00:03:12,889 --> 00:03:14,185 - Moving on to the colonies: 64 00:03:14,285 --> 00:03:16,814 In Australia, where, at this time of year people are solemnly honouring 65 00:03:16,914 --> 00:03:19,646 the ongoing conquest of the continent. Correspondent Ken Oathcarn... 66 00:03:19,746 --> 00:03:21,300 Are you celebrating?!! - Ken Oathcarn! 67 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,400 - Tell us what's going on. 68 00:03:23,157 --> 00:03:27,349 - Solid rock... We're standing on... stolen ground. 69 00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:30,475 The problem now is the ocean, where sharks and boat people abound. 70 00:03:30,575 --> 00:03:32,545 - How are you dealing with them? - Pfft! walk in the park! 71 00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:35,522 We feed the boat people to the sharks; and then, we kill the sharks. 72 00:03:35,622 --> 00:03:38,565 - Is refusing refugees legal? - Mate, is any of this legal? 73 00:03:38,665 --> 00:03:41,121 Our Crime Minister says this is the 'War On Boat People' 74 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,869 - Didn't your ancestors arrive there on boats by sea? 75 00:03:43,969 --> 00:03:46,453 - Australia was empty then; we came on the First Fleet. 76 00:03:46,572 --> 00:03:49,284 - I see. Turning now to tax and finance, with Max Keiser. 77 00:03:49,384 --> 00:03:52,235 - Oh boy, feeding boat people to sharks in Australia? 78 00:03:52,335 --> 00:03:53,559 I know what you're thinking: ....Hell 79 00:03:53,659 --> 00:03:57,264 that sounds a lot like the Central Banks and what their doing to the nation's wealth. 80 00:03:57,364 --> 00:03:59,203 - Right, Stacy? - Er, Robert... 81 00:03:59,303 --> 00:04:01,327 - That's it! they just rob it. - How can we stop it? 82 00:04:01,427 --> 00:04:05,289 - Bypass the Fed's pockets Fight Klepto-currency with Crypto-currency, that's the solution 83 00:04:05,389 --> 00:04:07,983 Behead the banksters with the silver axe revolution! 84 00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:10,106 - Revolution? What's pop-culture got to say: Russell Brand.. 85 00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:13,241 - What, Robert, am I a mere celebrity? Am I not a man? 86 00:04:13,341 --> 00:04:15,954 Ain't I got brains? Synonyms, metonyms in my gutter cant 87 00:04:16,054 --> 00:04:18,555 what if I spoke all grandiloquent would you better understand? 88 00:04:18,655 --> 00:04:21,184 And Keiser, Revolution's MY idea. - So you say 89 00:04:21,377 --> 00:04:23,787 but do you have a plan? I do: Bitcoin. Buy today! 90 00:04:23,887 --> 00:04:26,599 - Bitch-coin? I'm the messiah! I got Jesus hair, watch it sway. 91 00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:29,329 - Hey, English lady... wait... is man? ...Is G[CENSORED]?? 92 00:04:29,429 --> 00:04:31,747 - These imposters just wanna profit and get laid 93 00:04:31,847 --> 00:04:35,286 I'm the true prophet. Namaste! - Fear is your only God 94 00:04:35,386 --> 00:04:38,237 on the radio... Kneel and PRAY - Buy my DVD today: Revolution! 95 00:04:38,337 --> 00:04:39,754 - Ken Oathcarn - BUY BITCOIN! 96 00:04:39,854 --> 00:04:40,499 - Okay... 97 00:04:40,599 --> 00:04:42,521 For today we'll have to delay these great clashes 98 00:04:42,621 --> 00:04:45,169 which we'll come to cover in subsequent dispatches. 99 00:04:45,269 --> 00:04:48,239 But before we advance to our final stage of analysis together 100 00:04:48,339 --> 00:04:50,142 Here's Sage Francis with the weather 101 00:04:50,242 --> 00:04:53,341 - We've been weathering the storm of local warnings about global warming, 102 00:04:53,441 --> 00:04:55,493 But, what about that beautiful red dawn when you awoke this morning? 103 00:04:55,593 --> 00:04:58,296 We're suffering a cold front from motherfuckers who cold front. 104 00:04:58,396 --> 00:05:00,797 -Is one coat enough? - No, Robert... bundle up. 105 00:05:00,897 --> 00:05:03,950 The cold war is still in effect. It's got a chilling effect on the press. 106 00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:06,561 Dissidents disseminate information which is Dylan-esque. 107 00:05:06,661 --> 00:05:09,153 Cuz a hard rain's gonna fall. It may be frozen, 108 00:05:09,253 --> 00:05:11,958 In a high pressure system of whistleblowers 'til we're snowed in. 109 00:05:12,058 --> 00:05:13,686 - Moving on to Googleview spy cam. 110 00:05:13,786 --> 00:05:16,885 you'll see a fog of war slowly moving from the US to Iran. 111 00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:19,910 In Australia, we're heading for at least three years of lows. 112 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:22,824 In Yemen we're expecting a high chance of scattered strikes from drones 113 00:05:22,924 --> 00:05:24,883 - Your Sage Forecast to end with tonight? 114 00:05:24,983 --> 00:05:27,659 - The picture looks bleak, Robert, but expanding worldwide 115 00:05:27,759 --> 00:05:30,252 The winds of change are in our range, they're finally in sight. 116 00:05:30,352 --> 00:05:33,285 For Juice Rap News, Sage Francis, good luck and good night. 117 00:05:33,385 --> 00:05:35,868 - And that concludes our views on the news this evening. 118 00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:38,315 So much occurring, but is there a meaning? 119 00:05:38,415 --> 00:05:41,044 What is our story, who's writing it, and where is it leading to? 120 00:05:41,144 --> 00:05:44,041 Seeking true bearings, we seem to turn to "The News". 121 00:05:44,141 --> 00:05:46,220 But take heed, for the medium is the message 122 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,895 and this most viral meme on the planet is now the method 123 00:05:48,995 --> 00:05:51,175 for defining collective reality, each night. 124 00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:54,227 If it's not on "The News" it didn't happen - right? 125 00:05:54,327 --> 00:05:57,187 As history - our story - is played out in day-to-day events, 126 00:05:57,287 --> 00:05:59,780 and journalists are like historians of the present tense, 127 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,949 at this cross-road between ruin and the stars, 128 00:06:02,049 --> 00:06:05,443 can we afford to have News that is blind to who we truly are? 129 00:06:05,663 --> 00:06:07,906 We're no innocent spectators and bystanders 130 00:06:08,006 --> 00:06:10,526 but accomplices and players, in all that happens 131 00:06:10,626 --> 00:06:12,944 And that's The News that's most urgently lacking. 132 00:06:13,044 --> 00:06:16,741 Join us for more Juice, when Rap News is back again...