1 00:00:10,347 --> 00:00:12,548 We're back with Rap News on the open channel 2 00:00:12,648 --> 00:00:15,245 It's that time of year when the wise, heroic captains 3 00:00:15,345 --> 00:00:17,563 of the most powerful states of the globe gather 4 00:00:17,663 --> 00:00:20,977 to plan massive planetary fascist dystopian havoc 5 00:00:21,115 --> 00:00:24,868 The G20. And the host of the pageant this year is Australia. 6 00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:27,558 So we're racing over to chat with a reporter in the area. 7 00:00:27,689 --> 00:00:29,386 Ken, can you report on the action? 8 00:00:29,486 --> 00:00:31,904 - Ken Oathcarn, I'm in Queensland, it's so fantastic: 9 00:00:32,004 --> 00:00:34,843 Shady deals, trade pacts, and any protests that happen 10 00:00:34,943 --> 00:00:37,023 are greeted with tear gas, and baton bashings. 11 00:00:37,123 --> 00:00:38,499 - Protests? - Hold that thought! 12 00:00:38,599 --> 00:00:40,486 We're hoping to chat with the man of the moment, 13 00:00:40,586 --> 00:00:42,528 our noble Prime Minister Tony Abbott. 14 00:00:42,628 --> 00:00:43,628 - Tony! Hi! - Hi 15 00:00:43,728 --> 00:00:45,556 - Hi! Ken Oathcarn live on Channel Mine. 16 00:00:45,666 --> 00:00:47,656 Mind if we ask you a few questions at this time? 17 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,881 - Compliant corporate aligned media, right? 18 00:00:49,981 --> 00:00:53,096 - Yeah, mate! we're on your side - In which case that is fine... 19 00:00:53,199 --> 00:00:55,503 - Are there any wise words you'd like to provide 20 00:00:55,603 --> 00:00:56,979 to our patriotic viewers tonight? 21 00:00:57,079 --> 00:00:58,649 - Ah... yes, Ken, I might. 22 00:00:58,749 --> 00:01:00,629 Cheers to all the cunts who voted me in. 23 00:01:00,729 --> 00:01:02,415 For getting sucked in by Rupert's spin, 24 00:01:02,515 --> 00:01:03,515 so Tony could win 25 00:01:03,615 --> 00:01:06,389 and bring in a government of excuses and ah surprises 26 00:01:06,489 --> 00:01:09,183 My first triumph as leader was to abolish the climate, 27 00:01:09,283 --> 00:01:11,590 Slash Medicare, subsidise mining 28 00:01:11,690 --> 00:01:13,570 And end the age of entitlement for students 29 00:01:13,670 --> 00:01:14,670 ...except my kids. 30 00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:17,150 I've stopped the boats and the tide of Muslim immigrants... 31 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,268 - But, your duties under these UN Conventions... 32 00:01:19,368 --> 00:01:22,586 - ...are irrelevant: There's a place for everything, says Jesus, our saviour 33 00:01:22,686 --> 00:01:25,290 but he'd agree the place for brown people is not Australia 34 00:01:25,390 --> 00:01:27,670 - You've been busy with these worthy endeavours, 35 00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:29,257 thanks for making time to speak with us. 36 00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:30,609 - my pleasures 37 00:01:30,709 --> 00:01:33,230 - Now, the big G is about to blow in and Straya's hosting... 38 00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:35,748 what have you done to prepare for this role then? 39 00:01:35,848 --> 00:01:38,355 - I've been ah... raising my international profile, 40 00:01:38,455 --> 00:01:40,646 making headlines in newspapers worldwide 41 00:01:40,749 --> 00:01:43,267 And to ensure my ratings at home I brought us to war 42 00:01:43,367 --> 00:01:46,389 Which caused my approval score to soar even more on these shores 43 00:01:46,489 --> 00:01:49,213 - Straya's earned the honour of hosting the G twenty then 44 00:01:49,313 --> 00:01:52,366 - Thanks to me, we've become a role model of social development 45 00:01:52,466 --> 00:01:54,566 for the rest of the world to follow and imitate 46 00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:57,071 - You've greatly improved our communications of late... 47 00:01:57,171 --> 00:01:59,692 - That's right, we've just legalized the real-time 48 00:01:59,792 --> 00:02:01,865 monitoring of every bloke, sheila and child 49 00:02:01,965 --> 00:02:04,900 every computer, phone and device. The leaders of every civilised 50 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,853 western nation only dream of this erosion of privacy rights 51 00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:08,915 - ...And media 52 00:02:09,015 --> 00:02:10,978 - Yeah, We've just made it illegal to whistleblow 53 00:02:11,078 --> 00:02:13,185 or leak the details of any intel. 54 00:02:13,285 --> 00:02:15,986 So no more WikiLeaks or Eddy Snowden snoopin' in my email. 55 00:02:16,086 --> 00:02:19,055 - And journalists who publish the leaks? - ...will also be jailed. 56 00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,587 - Even if it's in the public interest? 57 00:02:20,687 --> 00:02:22,353 - Yep! but the next bit is the best: 58 00:02:22,453 --> 00:02:23,767 to complete the chilling effect 59 00:02:23,898 --> 00:02:26,650 We've even made it a crime for any of you to share, scatter 60 00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:28,499 click, or view any of that data. 61 00:02:28,599 --> 00:02:30,734 Tweet that, you Anonyhomos 'n hackers! 62 00:02:30,834 --> 00:02:33,632 - That's an attack on the basic tenets of press freedom. 63 00:02:33,732 --> 00:02:36,998 I don't get it: How did you manage to pass such extreme measures? 64 00:02:37,098 --> 00:02:38,647 - I can't take all the credit. 65 00:02:38,747 --> 00:02:41,979 I have to thank the pathetic, ball-less Opposition Party, 66 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,676 for voting'em through the Senate. 67 00:02:43,779 --> 00:02:47,325 - And not forgetting all the good Australian folk under anaesthetic 68 00:02:47,425 --> 00:02:50,677 deeply sedated watching 'The Bachelor' on Channel Seven. 69 00:02:50,777 --> 00:02:53,285 - These policies are troubling. Does no one want to stop them? 70 00:02:53,385 --> 00:02:55,272 - Nah. Nobody, mate! We all love'em... 71 00:02:55,372 --> 00:02:55,899 - Who's that? 72 00:02:55,999 --> 00:02:58,607 - Ah... him? Err... Nobody, mate... let's not bother him 73 00:02:58,707 --> 00:03:00,494 - It looks like Scott Ludlam... - G'day. 74 00:03:00,594 --> 00:03:03,839 - God bugger'im. Yes, it's the hippie, I mean 'greenie' senator, Scott Ludlam. 75 00:03:03,943 --> 00:03:07,088 Probably come in to try and stop the fun then? - Ken Oathcarn. 76 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,261 - Why is it in the Senate whenever you speak 77 00:03:09,361 --> 00:03:11,690 The whole room empties, and all the Senators leave? 78 00:03:11,790 --> 00:03:14,304 - A better question is, why is the Senate empty, yet 79 00:03:14,404 --> 00:03:16,881 my words go viral when they arrive on the Internet? 80 00:03:16,981 --> 00:03:19,702 - Uhmmm... - Because peeps online are awake and sentient 81 00:03:19,802 --> 00:03:22,354 feeding their intellect with media that's free, independent. 82 00:03:22,454 --> 00:03:24,948 - But thank God, that's all at last changing 83 00:03:25,048 --> 00:03:27,259 Australia is about to become the first great nation 84 00:03:27,359 --> 00:03:29,956 to pass laws for mandatory data retention 85 00:03:30,056 --> 00:03:32,281 indiscriminately storing our private metadata, 86 00:03:32,381 --> 00:03:35,899 treating us ALL as suspects, and thus finally ensuring... 87 00:03:35,999 --> 00:03:38,351 - ...a fascist fuck-fest of Orwellian proportions. 88 00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:41,263 - Aw c'mon mate, you're not gonna be a negative nerd, 89 00:03:41,363 --> 00:03:43,642 and vote against all of Tony's incredible work...? 90 00:03:43,742 --> 00:03:45,960 - I'll go full Gandalf on this Government's arse 91 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,982 Smack down their laws with a dose of: You Shall Not Pass! 92 00:03:49,082 --> 00:03:51,286 - You and what army? I don't like your chances. 93 00:03:51,386 --> 00:03:54,328 -I can't do it solo; that's why I've issued a blanket 94 00:03:54,428 --> 00:03:57,139 Call out to the internet, to stand up and be counted 95 00:03:57,239 --> 00:03:59,991 The net is our best bet to combat tyrannical tactics 96 00:04:00,143 --> 00:04:01,219 Click here to take action. 97 00:04:01,319 --> 00:04:02,371 - Don't click that link... 98 00:04:02,471 --> 00:04:04,972 - Or you'll be added to the terrorist ASIO blacklist! 99 00:04:05,072 --> 00:04:07,497 - Well, thank you, Prime Minister Abbot 100 00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:10,615 for giving us that candid understanding of your strategies in Australia 101 00:04:10,715 --> 00:04:12,705 the opening of the summit is about to happen, 102 00:04:12,805 --> 00:04:14,699 but before you brandish your diplomatic talents, 103 00:04:14,799 --> 00:04:18,437 I'd just like to say that it seems clear why the world's leaders and powers that be; 104 00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,962 From Obama and Putin to Harper and Xi; 105 00:04:21,062 --> 00:04:23,577 are converging on Australia for the G20. 106 00:04:23,677 --> 00:04:25,957 They must be eager to come and learn from the new master... 107 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,191 - that's me! 108 00:04:27,316 --> 00:04:31,620 - Ladies 'n gentlebogans, we're commencing the whole summit 109 00:04:31,834 --> 00:04:34,345 please be upstanding for the new classic 110 00:04:34,445 --> 00:04:37,546 Prime Minister of Straya, Tony Abbott 111 00:04:38,705 --> 00:04:40,650 - First things first, I'm elitist - leetist 112 00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:43,506 - Host this summit let the whole world feel it - G20 113 00:04:43,606 --> 00:04:45,010 - And Australia's open for business, 114 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:48,645 unless you climate scientists or giving me lessons in Civics - Right right! 115 00:04:48,745 --> 00:04:50,949 - We doing great work, we on track 116 00:04:51,049 --> 00:04:53,481 boot stomp, like we Bringing eighty four back 117 00:04:53,984 --> 00:04:56,247 - My name's Tony 118 00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:58,834 You already know 119 00:04:58,934 --> 00:05:01,573 The leaders all came 120 00:05:02,124 --> 00:05:04,118 From DC to Tokyo 121 00:05:04,218 --> 00:05:06,870 - World Leaders let's do this, let's show that we're ruthless 122 00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:09,464 All here in Brissy, the shakers the movers 123 00:05:09,564 --> 00:05:12,196 Dilma Roussef I do love a Brazilian - oooh 124 00:05:12,296 --> 00:05:15,321 Cristina from Argentina! Tony: minister for women - ah-huh! 125 00:05:15,421 --> 00:05:17,915 - Anyoung, Park Geun Hye; Modi, hi! - hi 126 00:05:18,015 --> 00:05:20,439 Ni hao, Xi, Imma see youse inside - inside 127 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,950 - who got two thumbs and a continent to strip mine... 128 00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:25,972 This guy: The T O N Y - right 129 00:05:26,072 --> 00:05:28,573 - Black Obama, we don't talk bout no climate - nuh uh 130 00:05:28,673 --> 00:05:30,276 - it's time for war! let's bomb ISIS 131 00:05:30,376 --> 00:05:33,505 They be beheading some guys, slice their necks with some knives, 132 00:05:33,605 --> 00:05:36,616 Abdullah, you do dat do dat execution? That's fine! - yep 133 00:05:36,716 --> 00:05:38,923 Vladimir Putin, who invited you in? - who? 134 00:05:39,023 --> 00:05:41,555 I'm gonna shirt front him, the bloody Ruskie hoodlum - get him! 135 00:05:41,655 --> 00:05:44,266 you bet you are, you Will I Am, you bet you is - er... 136 00:05:44,366 --> 00:05:46,963 What, you selling the gas? Come on in then; you win! 137 00:05:47,063 --> 00:05:49,640 Welcome to my crib, Leaders and Tyrants 138 00:05:49,805 --> 00:05:52,206 It's time to talk tax, trade, keeping debt climbing 139 00:05:52,306 --> 00:05:55,017 What?! No, Obama, told you for the last time, mate: 140 00:05:55,117 --> 00:05:57,332 We're not going to talk about the bloody climate! 141 00:05:58,049 --> 00:06:00,443 - His name's Tony 142 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,829 - Wanna buy some coal? 143 00:06:02,954 --> 00:06:05,271 - Remember his name 144 00:06:05,371 --> 00:06:09,335 - start the sho-o-o-o-o-w 145 00:06:11,107 --> 00:06:16,357 Subtitles by .koolfy