1 00:00:13,343 --> 00:00:16,206 Welcome to Rap News, your news source, for the latest report 2 00:00:16,306 --> 00:00:19,290 beaming forth from planet Earth, where humanity loves nothing more 3 00:00:19,437 --> 00:00:22,706 than being entertained, amused, entranced, enthused and enthralled 4 00:00:22,806 --> 00:00:26,502 by a popular global ritual commonly known as "Sport". That's right, Sport. 5 00:00:26,662 --> 00:00:29,783 For as we talk, a third of all humans are tuned-in, with volume turned up, 6 00:00:29,883 --> 00:00:32,609 to the biggest of all sporting events: the World Cup, 7 00:00:32,709 --> 00:00:35,816 which is being hosted in football's very own mecca: Brazil. 8 00:00:36,049 --> 00:00:39,538 Citizens there must be delighted and thrilled, so join us as we'll 9 00:00:39,638 --> 00:00:41,934 cross to Rio to speak to one of the happy people. 10 00:00:42,082 --> 00:00:44,490 - Oi, galera! tudo bem? - Tudo ottimo, and you? 11 00:00:44,590 --> 00:00:49,368 - Não! Tudo terrível! - Everything terrible? but why? Not enjoying o jogo bonito? 12 00:00:49,468 --> 00:00:52,710 - Futebol is beautiful, but there is corrupção here that's evil. 13 00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:56,470 - Corruption? - Tem certeza! When we heard about the World Cup, we said 'Beleza!' 14 00:00:56,570 --> 00:00:59,726 But from Sao Paulo, and Rio, to Fortaleza, the people are in need of 15 00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:02,785 educação, saúde, habitação, comida. 16 00:01:02,885 --> 00:01:06,619 But instead our taxes are used to feed the piranha FIFA! 17 00:01:07,380 --> 00:01:08,793 - Hold it right there! 18 00:01:08,893 --> 00:01:11,238 - They're here! - You are under arrest 19 00:01:11,388 --> 00:01:12,811 - Ai! Caralho! 20 00:01:14,261 --> 00:01:18,094 - Stay calm soccer fans, we have enforced and restored peace. 21 00:01:18,194 --> 00:01:21,412 Please continue to enjoy World Cup twenty fourteen! 22 00:01:21,512 --> 00:01:24,987 - What's this here? - We've taken control of Brazil. Bom dia. 23 00:01:25,087 --> 00:01:28,292 - And you are? - William de Berg, representing THIEFA. 24 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:31,573 - Uh welcome back, Bill, so is the World Cup bringing joy all round? 25 00:01:31,673 --> 00:01:34,694 - It is bringing us lank amounts, and that's what counts. 26 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:38,060 Check our bank accounts: This is our biggest World Coup of all time: 27 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,599 Thirty billion bucks; more than all three previous Cups combined. 28 00:01:41,699 --> 00:01:44,990 - It seems Brazilians would prefer 'FIFA-quality' homes instead; 29 00:01:45,090 --> 00:01:48,074 better schools and hospitals. They're striking, calling protests... 30 00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:51,269 - Ach Nonsense. We're bringing them "Order and Progress" 31 00:01:51,369 --> 00:01:54,648 having mass evictions, cleaning the streets of all the homeless 32 00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:58,248 Ahh... gentrification: those favelas are on prime real estate. 33 00:01:58,348 --> 00:02:01,577 You see the World Cup provides a perfect pretext these days 34 00:02:01,677 --> 00:02:05,018 to take away liberties and impose a police state, increased surveillance, 35 00:02:05,153 --> 00:02:08,249 special forces, laws and courts to prosecute protesters. 36 00:02:08,397 --> 00:02:11,640 And all these measures will remain long after the end of the festival. 37 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:14,823 - But won't Brazil be left with chaos and tremendous debt to owe? 38 00:02:14,923 --> 00:02:18,287 - Sure, that's why our stadiums were designed with a special second role: 39 00:02:18,387 --> 00:02:21,593 to be converted into massive prisons after the final whistle blows. 40 00:02:21,693 --> 00:02:24,947 - Incredible. - These are just a piece of the benefits THIEFA brings to Brazil, 41 00:02:25,047 --> 00:02:28,203 and that's why many others compete to host the World Cup as well: 42 00:02:28,303 --> 00:02:32,466 Russia, you're next to foot the damn bill; and then me and Sepp Blatter 43 00:02:32,566 --> 00:02:34,739 we'll take the show direct to... 44 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,516 the slave kingdom of Qatar! 45 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,723 - Now, hang on, Mr. De Berg. I'm no expert, I'm aware of this. 46 00:02:40,823 --> 00:02:43,979 But I thought this sport was supposed to be all about fairness. 47 00:02:44,079 --> 00:02:46,781 - Why did you think that we call it the World Game? 48 00:02:46,881 --> 00:02:50,491 - Um... - You see all those fans out there in the ranks, or watching TV, 49 00:02:50,591 --> 00:02:54,620 backing their team, chanting 'Ole', giving their flags a passionate wave? 50 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,986 They think they're spectators, but in fact they're in the actual game. 51 00:02:58,086 --> 00:03:00,505 - They are? - Let's get the true score in the match of the day 52 00:03:00,605 --> 00:03:03,061 by chatting with national team captains - G'day 53 00:03:03,161 --> 00:03:06,943 - Tony Abbott, tough match? - Ah, not really, ah, Billy, 54 00:03:07,043 --> 00:03:10,580 We've ah used the best tactics, and come away with the ah victory. 55 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,836 - The opposition didn't really stand a chance tonight. - That's right. 56 00:03:13,936 --> 00:03:17,375 You might have expected the Australian people to have a bit more fight. 57 00:03:17,475 --> 00:03:20,778 But their fatal own goal, was to vote Tony in the last election 58 00:03:20,878 --> 00:03:24,390 'coz even though the Australian economy was the ah envy of everyone 59 00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:27,499 and we sailed through the GFC with a Triple A rating, 60 00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:31,197 I still slashed the budget for pensions, unemployment, health and education 61 00:03:31,297 --> 00:03:33,937 by making up some crap about fiscal emergency. 62 00:03:34,037 --> 00:03:37,488 - A fake dive! That's even better acting than the Italian team. 63 00:03:37,588 --> 00:03:40,756 - this strategy should ah put us ahead in the World Game. 64 00:03:40,856 --> 00:03:44,037 Coz without education, the next ah generation of Australians 65 00:03:44,137 --> 00:03:47,440 will most probably become a bunch of ignorant fuck-witted suppositories, 66 00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:50,523 even more obsessed with sport. That's great for the economy. 67 00:03:50,623 --> 00:03:53,989 - Spoken like a true World Game captain, but will Australia be champion? 68 00:03:54,089 --> 00:03:57,270 What about the result in your match, Mr David Cameron? 69 00:03:57,370 --> 00:04:00,710 - Fair play, Aussies. Not bad: giving the people minimal funding 70 00:04:00,810 --> 00:04:03,585 But to really give them a thumping you need a criminal function 71 00:04:03,685 --> 00:04:06,706 That's what England's got in the form of the elite City of London 72 00:04:06,806 --> 00:04:10,540 whose bankers catalysed the GFC with their corrupt international plundering 73 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,103 But we don't punish them, instead we stiff the English people with penalty kicks, 74 00:04:14,203 --> 00:04:17,261 and impose a rigid round of society-killing austerity hits. 75 00:04:17,361 --> 00:04:20,824 Plus: we corner them with poor diet, poor education and tabloid media images, 76 00:04:20,924 --> 00:04:23,981 making those idiots blame their situation on the poor and on immigrants. 77 00:04:24,081 --> 00:04:27,188 - Excellent game, but now the heavyweights are ready to play: 78 00:04:27,288 --> 00:04:30,764 First, the USA. Acting captain, John Kerry, Secretary of State 79 00:04:30,864 --> 00:04:33,983 - Billy-boy, we might suck balls at soccer, but we dominate the league table 80 00:04:34,083 --> 00:04:37,595 in beating down our own people... - Lethal. What's your game plan procedure? 81 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:40,655 - We seek to outmanoeuvre them in every position we take up: 82 00:04:40,755 --> 00:04:43,972 In defense, we use illegal homeland surveillance of data. 83 00:04:44,072 --> 00:04:46,958 In the midfield, we've possess the best strikers at propaganda, 84 00:04:47,058 --> 00:04:50,435 they've even managed to convince folks that Snowden's a traitor! 85 00:04:50,535 --> 00:04:53,322 Heck, we've scored so many goals against Americans, 86 00:04:53,422 --> 00:04:56,701 the other teams are scrambling to imitate us, but they barely can! 87 00:04:56,801 --> 00:05:00,349 - Don't speak too soon John, there are some strong players in this game, 88 00:05:00,449 --> 00:05:03,311 like last tournament's reigning champions: Spain 89 00:05:03,411 --> 00:05:06,961 - Hola, somos 'En Números Rojos', the Spanish home team. 90 00:05:07,061 --> 00:05:10,610 Soy Mariano Rajoy, el capitan. In twenty ten we took the football trophy. 91 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,841 But our biggest victory was to squeeze public liquidity 92 00:05:13,941 --> 00:05:17,183 and to deprive el pueblo, not just of money, but of their dignity. 93 00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:20,710 Now our unemployment is the best, two in three youths feel the strain 94 00:05:20,810 --> 00:05:23,990 of no job or prospects of change unless they choose to Emigrate. 95 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,939 - That's an even better score than Greece when they led the way. 96 00:05:27,039 --> 00:05:30,625 - The others are not bad; but Spain's the true champions of the World Game. 97 00:05:30,725 --> 00:05:33,881 - World Game? huh! wait till I make the world's climate change; 98 00:05:33,981 --> 00:05:36,940 - Raise austerity! - Print more money! - 98 percent! 99 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:40,000 - So much passion, but which will be the winning team? 100 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:43,981 - Don't you see? They're all winners, that's why we sing... 101 00:05:44,081 --> 00:05:46,954 Put your slave flags in the sky 102 00:05:48,146 --> 00:05:50,259 And wave them side by side 103 00:05:51,414 --> 00:05:54,007 Show the world where you are from 104 00:05:55,149 --> 00:05:57,570 Show the world we have won 105 00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:02,214 -It's my world, our world, the whole world's our game. 106 00:06:02,314 --> 00:06:04,021 And we coerce the whole world, whole world to play. 107 00:06:04,121 --> 00:06:05,851 These flags were made so you'd fight yourselves 108 00:06:05,951 --> 00:06:07,719 instead of us and so the world, whole world's our game. 109 00:06:07,819 --> 00:06:09,120 - One night, watch the world divide 110 00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:11,417 - Two sides, one fight and a million lies 111 00:06:11,517 --> 00:06:12,941 - You 'tards, gonna get screwed hard 112 00:06:13,041 --> 00:06:15,151 - Screw all the people, fists up to the sky 113 00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:18,802 (Hey hey hey!) - Fascists, fascists, come on sing with me. 114 00:06:18,902 --> 00:06:22,451 (Hey hey hey!) - Only slaves heed nationalities 115 00:06:22,551 --> 00:06:25,584 (Hey hey hey!) - Come on now! (Hey hey hey!) 116 00:06:25,684 --> 00:06:28,273 - Come on now! (heil heil heil! heil heil!) 117 00:06:28,373 --> 00:06:32,229 Put your slave flags in the sky (- put em in the sky - show us where you are) 118 00:06:32,329 --> 00:06:35,696 and wave them side by side (- come on, slaves - now don't be shy) 119 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:39,357 Show the world where you are from (- show em you are owned, - we own you, baby) 120 00:06:39,457 --> 00:06:44,751 Show the world we have won (One... world... lie...) 121 00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:50,047 - Well, viewers, our coverage of the World Coup is finishing. 122 00:06:50,147 --> 00:06:53,610 Boa noite, Brazil. And good luck to you, for another ordeal is imminent: 123 00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:56,940 Once this concludes, you'll have to go through the Olympic predicament. 124 00:06:57,149 --> 00:06:59,839 Rest assured we'll be back with another report to deliver then. 125 00:06:59,939 --> 00:07:03,341 So what does our love of sport say about the world we're living in? 126 00:07:03,441 --> 00:07:06,880 Perhaps we crave its ideals of fairness; its level playing fields; 127 00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:10,050 Its respect for the law's limits; the fact that the rules are legitimate 128 00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:13,355 and, unlike in life, clearly written and known to all participants. 129 00:07:13,455 --> 00:07:16,623 If we played by those principles, not just in the stadium, 130 00:07:16,723 --> 00:07:19,769 but day to day in our courtrooms, boardrooms and government chambers 131 00:07:19,869 --> 00:07:23,332 it would truly be a game changer on the actual world stage. 132 00:07:23,432 --> 00:07:28,283 Now in that sport, you could count me as an avid fan. Good day. 133 00:07:28,383 --> 00:07:35,422 Captions created by .koolfy -INSERT LANGUAGE HERE- translation by -INSERT NAME HERE-